Blog Entry
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Real Death, The Final Frontier
From Steve Irwin to U.S. soldiers in Iraq, there's still one video you ain't gonna see on YouTube
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, September 22, 2006
There is, apparently, videotape of beloved Aussie TV star and naturalist Steve Irwin getting stabbed by the nasty bayonet-like tail of a giant stingray. The video shows Irwin removing the lethal blade from his chest, where it had pierced his heart, just before he loses consciousness and dies almost instantly.
We will, most likely, never see this film. This is not because Irwin had, so far as we know, no chance to utter "Crikey!" one last time before leaping into the Great Crocodile Pit in the Sky.
No, we'll never see it because it is, quite simply, too much. It is more than we can readily handle. It is The Line.
There exists an audio track from the remarkable and wonderfully bizarre documentary film "Grizzly Man," where the hero, Timothy Treadwell, and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard are gruesomely mauled to death by a giant, furious bear.
The audio (Treadwell had left the lens cap on the camera when the attack occurred and hence there's no video of the death scene) is rumored to be unspeakably, nightmarishly disturbing. There is footage near the end of the documentary of director Werner Herzog listening to the track on headphones. His face is all ash and quiet horror. He hands the headphones back to Treadwell's friend and tells her to consider destroying the tape. No one should ever hear this, he says. It is just that disturbing. It is over The Line.
The Line is, of course, real death. That's it. That's our final threshold, the only thing we really have left to call sacred, the boundary we rarely want to traverse unless absolutely necessary, the thing we simply do not want to see up close and personal and all over YouTube. Witnessing actual death still holds us in powerful, petrified thrall. For this we can all still be very grateful.
Here's why: Death remains our one true, delicious example of eternal dark mystery. Sure, we don't understand the human brain, the soul, whale song, the depths of space, the inexplicable success of Ashley Simpson. But death trumps them all. What's more: We will never, ever figure it out. Isn't that fabulous? This is what keeps us human. Lose that innate fear, lose that terrified wonder of What Comes Next and we're what, snails? Cockroaches? Ann Coulter? Exactly.
You might disagree. You might say that there are millions who want to see and hear these things, who claim some sort of tormented fetish for actual pain and suffering and visible death. What's more, were that Irwin video posted somewhere, if a bootlegged copy somehow made it to YouTube, our morbid curiosity would very likely override our better senses and millions of us would doubtlessly rush to it and click like crazy just before terribly regretting it for the rest of the decade. You might argue that fact. And you'd have a pretty good point.
But it's glorious irony, isn't it? That our inborn terror and fear of death is the very reason we can't help but imitate its tropes and mock its methods and play with its silky black robes like a dumb child kicking around a live hand grenade? Death is our eternal fascination. We cannot, by many estimates, get enough of it.
Just look: Not a night goes by without any number of brutal rapes, tortures, murders on the various cop shows and hospital dramas on TV. The stiff and insufferable "CSI" franchise, which includes the nation's most popular shows, has brutal death as its contemptuous, beating heart. "Six Feet Under," the most brilliant death-themed show ever, opened every episode with a new, creative and lovingly detailed scene of fatality. It was death as pop culture art form, all minimalist cinematography and a pale green color palette and a sly soundtrack.
But it wasn't, you know, real. Fundamentalists may pule and quiver at the sight of a woman's nipple on TV, NASCAR fans may spontaneously combust at the sight of gay men kissing, but that ain't nothin' like the sight of a young soldier getting struck by a bullet. Or a grizzly bear slashing a woman to bits. Or someone jumping from, say, a very high bridge.
Oh yes. There is also a new documentary, much discussed in The Chronicle last year, all about that famous and most popular of scenic suicide spots, the Golden Gate Bridge. It's called, clearly enough, "The Bridge." The director, Eric Steel, set up his cameras on nearby hills and let them run. He captures people walking. He captures many of them stopping, looking over the famous railing, pondering.
And then something shifts. Something gut-wrenching occurs. A few of those ponderers do something different. They look. They climb over the railing. They pause for a moment. They make a final choice ...
Then they jump.
The footage is brutally simple. Even the movie's trailer plays up the quietly disturbing nature of the act. You have but to watch just one jumper to feel the quick nausea strike you like a punch in the gut. It is perhaps similar to the footage of people jumping from the burning twin towers on Sept. 11. Shocking, jarring, perspective-altering. And not in a good way.
And don't think our fine government doesn't know the nauseating power. Shots of flag-draped caskets coming back from Iraq? Footage of the charred women and babies in Baghdad? Film of U.S. soldiers shooting civilians, of soldiers being blown up by mines? All banned outright. Support for Dubya's hideous little war would drop to less than zero if those unspeakable images were to be broadcast (which is why, many argue, the images absolutely should be shown. Nothing like the raw gory death of misguided American kids to shake up a nation).
"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war," summarized the ever-pithy Donald "Black Heart" Rumsfeld. Oh Don, you big jokester. You said a mouthful.
Should we celebrate the fact that there are some things that cannot be taken away from the human experience or viciously co-opted by marketing execs? Should we be glad, in an oddly morbid sort of way, that in the age of wild gobs of ultraviolence in popular culture, we can still be jarred to our core by actual death? You could say that.
You could say: We might be the most jaded and burned-out and fear-pummeled culture on the face of the planet, but at least we have real death. Sort of makes life worth living, no?
posted by Lynzy @
11:43 AM
2 comments
Monday, February 12, 2007
Well, as per Lawrence's request, I will update my blog. Let's see, what's new and exciting in my life. I broke my ankle last wednesday so I am not seeing much more of the world than my value village purchased couch. I have been watching way too much TV and movies and have started the second book in the Inheritance trilogy, Eldest. We have started a World of Darkness supernatural hunters game, which is getting off to a kind of slow start. I am just not really feeling it yet, even though I am obessed with the show Supernatual, which it is based off of.
The gorrila puppy is doing great, growing like a weed. He has started his Intermediate Obeidance class and is having fun, but not paying too much attention in class. He stinks horribly right now, so tomorrow he is going to the Puppy Pretty Parlour, which is what I call the groomers.
Other than that, not much else is new. I at least have planning Kevin's birthday party to keep me busy, as he has decided he wants a big party this year.
Later Days
posted by Lynzy @
6:57 PM
2 comments
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Sitting by the (unfinished) dock on the bay....So I am in Collingwood until at least the 25th of August for those of you who don't know. Kevin is doing really well at work and because of that, they keep moving him around the province. Last week he worked in Sarnia and this week he is working in Toronto and will continue working there until August 25th. I could of stayed in Windsor, but I thought Kodiak and I could use a trip to the lake.
So far its been hot as all hell, but luckily Kodiak has decided to be true to his Newfie heritage and embrace the wonderful activity known as swimming. So in short, I get to spend a lot of time in the water. Also he has finally mastered the stairs, and not a moment to soon because I am not able to carry a 40 + lbs puppy up and down three flights of steep stairs on his every whim. My parents dogs have mixed opinions of him, our oldest, Muprhy, an eleven year old yellow lab pretty much ingores Kodiak. Babe, the almost two year old border collie/lab mix with A.D.D. is in love with Kody. They have grand battles all over the house, chasing each other and causing mayhem. One night they ran circles around the couch I was sitting on for twenty minutes, then when they got tired they walked circles around it for another 20 minutes. Our next door neighbour absolutely loves Newfies, she's had them for years so she's become Kody's personal stalker. At five in the morning she heard me letting him out for a pee and she came over to inquire if he was sleeping ok and asked me to bring him over right then to meet her old Newf Darla (who's blind and deaf by the way). It's getting a little scary to say the least.
In other exciting news the Collingwood mall actually got some clothing stores other than zellers and BiWay. They just built a La Senza, Randy River, Stitches and a Bluenotes. Not great selection but at least it's something. I managed to once again avoid the Elvis Festival, coming that much closer to achieving my life long goal of never going to any of the Festival Events.
Yesterday my mother, my mothers cousin and my grade 12 english teacher (friend of the family) and I went to Toronto to see Lord of The Rings. In short, I liked it, there were things they could have definately improved but I think they did a pretty good job of condensing it down into 3 and half hours without making it too confusing. The car ride back was absolute hell as my mother's cousin is probably Canada's worst driver. It took four hours when it should have taken an hour and a half and I cannot count the amount of times we almost died. Never again will I get in a car with that lady, her lead foot almost made me throw up all over her interior.
If anyone wants some time at the lake and can find a way up here or at least to Toronto, give me an email. I don't know how much more quality family I can take before I go nuts.
posted by Lynzy @
8:48 AM
0 comments
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Human longing is like a waterfall and Aislynn's flowed with a power I have not seen in a millenia. Her longing aches inside me, a faraway ache but one which still surges with the power of rushing water cascading through the air. Between the droplets of memories inside of me and her journal, I am begining to piece together how this tortured soul lived her brief life.
There was a man, of that I am sure. A man who came into her life and bathed her heart and soul with the warm spring waters of love and then struck her like an uncaring wave tosses a wayward ship before submerging her into the depths of the darkest ocean.
To heal her pain, Aislynn opened her heart to the arts. Those few who she had not completly pushed from her life saw an unearthly beauty in her paintings, heard the voices of angels in her songs and cherished the soul searching depths of her poetry. Aislynn did not see those things. Everytime she picked up the brush to paint, every time she played her piano, every poem she scribbled down in her water stained leather journal only reminded her of all that she had lost and all that her heart longed to have once again. She only saw her pain in her art, and in time she began to see the uncomfortable truths of how dark and lonely the world outside her tiny apartment really was. She saw what no human was suppossed to see, she the world spiralling out of control and realised humanity was powerless to stop it on their own. That was the day she first reached out to me.
more to come later...
posted by Lynzy @
11:07 AM
1 comments
Saturday, July 15, 2006
I am going to start this post off by apologizing if some or all of it doesn't make any sense. I just took my liquid codeine and I am feeling a little light headed. Well I already missed my self imposed deadline of a post a week at the least. There was a good reason though. I started my job on monday. For those who don't know I am working at the Windsor Essex Children's Rehabilitation Centre. I am working as a camp counsellor in their day camp for children who are not able to attend to regular camps because of a physical or mental/cognitive disablity. It is hard work, I have to feed and toilet the kids who can't do it themselves. But it is also a lot of fun, seeing the smiles on the kids faces and knowing they are getting to experience something that without programs like this they would never be able to do. The pay is crap, since its a government funded program that allows the centre to hire counsellor but the experience is invaluable.
Of course, because things were starting to go my way, I had to go and get sick again. A visit to the hospital on friday has confirmed that I have yet another chest infection. That's my fifth one since February. So whether or not I will be able to continue at work is up in the air at this point, since I am contagious. If it was up to me I would tough it out, but we have to think of the children first.
I also have been neglecting visiting my faithful paladin steed, but for once thats not such a bad thing. She could really use the time to heal an injury she had when I bought her, and I am sure she is happy just hanging out with her little pony friend. My goal is to take her in the Harrow fall fair in september, just for fun.
Not going to the barn has its downsides though, as I am suppossed to be teaching a really sweet little boy a lesson a week as learning from his mother is not going so well to say the least. The kid is crazy about Roman war tactics, jousting, dragons and RPG computer games. So he and Kevin talk for hours together. Again its not great pay, but I get the sense of doing something nice for someone who is need. It makes the paladin in me happy.
Kodiak our puppy is growing quickly. He is 12 weeks old and already weighs in at 30lbs (at the last weighing, but I know he's put on some more weight). He's really a great dog. He is against literacy, he hates anyone reading aloud, and he is noise police, if you make weird sounds or speak in an accent he will howl his little head off.
Don's three legged kitten is doing fairly well, he needs to get out of Don's room a little bit more though. Him and Kody have a bit of a rocky relationship, mostly because people are quick to scoop the cat up and scold Kody for playing with him. I am of the school of thought that if it hurt the cat, the cat would howl and scratch at Kody or take off. If the cat sits there and lets Kody gingerly mouth his tail, the cat can't care that much. But everyone is afraid the three legged cat can't take care of himself. I think the scar on Kodiak's nose from a cat scratch is evidence enough that the cat can and will defend himself when necessary.
I am going to finish off this post by posting some pictures of Erin and I's great adventure to Florida in May. Erin that was seriously some fun times and we will definatly have to do it again. For more pictures, visit my webshots site. You can find the link in my link sections (imagine that)
posted by Lynzy @
9:52 PM
2 comments
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Welcome to my new blog. I felt a need for a change but that doesn't mean I want to forget where I have come from. My old blog will still remain up for anyone who wants to take a ride down memory lane. I am going to try and update this new blog more regularly, if not everyday than at the very least once a week.
So whats new in my life seems to be a common question asked of me. I am feeling and doing a lot better. I still have some pretty bad days, but nothing like March or April, those were some pretty bad months. Money is super tight but it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel as both Kevin and I have gotten jobs. This means no more summer classes for me, which actually makes me pretty sad.
For those who don't know, The Crowned Rider of the Unconquered Sun is my Eclipse caste solar in Kevin's south game, and also is my alter ego. Ryiah is the most closely based off me character I have ever played. She is everything I wish I could be and more. I am still the paladin deep down inside, but consider this persona the paladin version 2.0
So you may ask, what does the Crowned Rider quest for? She quests for Truth, Beauty, Freedom and Love. She strives to help give everyone a choice, and a voice. She is honest, caring and full of optimism and faith. That is how I want to live my own life.
I hope everyone enjoys the new blog,
Lynz
posted by Lynzy @
12:48 AM
2 comments